I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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