Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
