So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize