I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
