I just made out with a guy for $7.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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