were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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