i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Its about making memories worth repressing
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
