she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
