one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
