Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
