Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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