u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
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on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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