kristin has been a bad kristin
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
