I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
