i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
