if i died would you start the facebook group?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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