she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
