I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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