Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
