...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
