That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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