I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
