Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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