Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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