Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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