So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
