pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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