he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
