she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
