I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize