I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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