btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
