lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
