A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
