People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
