i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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