If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize