worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
