MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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