i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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