3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
