bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
