i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
false alarm, still single
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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