Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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