elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
