Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
