How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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