Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize