DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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