the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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