i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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