I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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