I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
They are going to name an STD after you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
