8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
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alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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