Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
