Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
