i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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