this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
