Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
